May ,2026
Low toddler patience. Learning the importance of waiting.
Written by: Ms. Ng Ka Chun, Former Principal of Lok Sin Tong Leung Wong Wai Fong Memorial School
Young children always have low patience and have difficulty tolerating & waiting. Self-control is a comprehensive ability of an individual to properly control and regulate his or her behavior without external supervision, to suppress impulses, and persevere to ensure the achievement of goals. It is an important component in the construction of self-awareness and is an important psychological quality for the success of an individual.
Waiting is the mark of a child’s success
In the 1960s, the American psychologist Professor Michel conducted a fudge experiment. He took a group of children aged about four to a modestly furnished house and gave them each a very tasty piece of fudge, telling them that if they ate the fudge right away, they could only eat one; if they ate it again after 20 minutes, they would be rewarded with one more piece of fudge, and they could eat two pieces of fudge in total. After Michelle left, some children were eager to eat the candy, while others were patient, closed their eyes, or rested their heads on their arms as sleep; some children talked to themselves or sang to divert their attention and spent time restraining their desire. Through observation, Michelle found that one-third of the children ate the candy immediately, one-third of the children waited for Michelle to come back and redeem the extra reward before they started to eat, and another one-third of the children insisted at first, but then could not resist giving up waiting.
Michel continued to follow the children who participated in the experiment until they graduated from high school. The results of the follow-up study showed that the children who started eating candy right away showed a lack of confidence and did not get along well with their peers as teenagers, while those who waited until the end to eat candy were socially competent, assertive and academically successful. The “waiters” scored an average of 210 points higher on the test than the “non-waiters”. The actual results show that those children who could wait had a much higher success rate than those who could not wait.
In the above experiment, Michel introduced the concept of “delayed gratification” – the ability to wait is the ability to delay gratification, and children with delayed gratification are more likely to succeed as adults.
Let babies learn to wait a while
Patience is not something children are born with, but it can be mastered through learning. Before a child can learn patience, he or she must have the “ability to measure and understand time” and the “ability to understand cause and effect” before we can develop the ability to tolerate frustration and delay gratification.
Infants from zero to 18 months of age have only two or three minutes of patience. Even so, newborns must be taught to wait a while, and encouraging patience begins with simply telling them. When he hears your words, he will begin to think about what will come later, so parents can prepare their baby for his needs while describing in words what you have prepared for him. When a few months old baby hears you, he will stop fretting as a sign that he understands what you are saying, because language is linked to cause-and-effect thinking, so it helps babies learn to delay gratification.
April , 2026
Five Golden Rules of Parenting
As parents, we all want our children to excel. Parents bear a tremendous responsibility to raise children in the best possible way. But what constitutes good parenting? Good parenting emerges when parents provide a stable, nurturing home environment, serve as positive role models, and actively engage in their children’s lives. Good parenting is about fostering a child’s holistic development, imparting moral education, and guiding children through open communication and mutual respect. Responsible parents tailor their approach, instill good values, use rewards and punishments judiciously, and positively influence their children’s behavior.
- Spend Quality Parent-Child Time Together
The best gift you can give your child is your time! Be present for them! No matter how busy you and your child are, make time to “connect” together. Understanding your child more leads to family unity. Play games happily together, plan and do things together. Ensure that good habits and positive attitudes are cultivated during this time spent together.
- Provide Unconditional Love
Parental love and warmth are fundamental ingredients for a child’s happiness. The more children feel their parents’ love, the more willing they are to listen and learn. Before lecturing your child, provide them with unconditional love through hugs, kisses, and words. Research shows that a child needs 12 hugs a day.
- Avoid Corporal Punishment and High-Pressure Education
While the saying “spare the rod and spoil the child” holds some truth, excess severity can backfire. It’s essential to avoid corporal punishment. Times have changed, and studies indicate that physical discipline can have negative effects on a child’s development and self-esteem, leading to resentment and rebellious behavior. While it’s understandable that parents may lose their temper and resort to physical discipline when children misbehave, it’s crucial to refrain from violence. Corporal punishment is never a good parenting method.
- Keep Promises
Keep promises made to your child. By doing so, parents teach children the importance of being responsible. Never promise something you can’t deliver to your child. If you make a mistake, apologize sincerely and promise to do better next time. Why should parents promise things they can’t do for their children?
- Be a Good Example
Be a good role model and provide positive influence to discipline your child. If parents want their children to exhibit good behavior, such as valuing time and money, being polite, responsible, sincere, calm, rule-abiding, and logical, they should never disappoint their children; lead by example. Children mirror their parents. If we want to change our children, we must reflect on ourselves and make changes. Therefore, when children look up to parents as role models in more than one way, strive to be the best version of yourself. Start today!
March, 2026
Is Competition Just Stress? 3 Major Benefits to Help Children Build Inner Strength
I believe all parents have heard the term “glass heart,” and no one wants their children to have a “glass heart.” Whether they are just starting school or entering the workforce, everyone faces various levels of competition. If they don’t know how to cope, it can lead to mental and physical exhaustion, even affecting personal development. Allowing children to participate in competitions based on their interests and willingness offers many benefits:
- Learning to Follow Rules
Every competition or competitive game has its own set of rules that must be followed, such as arriving on time and adhering to size specifications for submitted work. These experiences teach children the importance of following rules. Parents can also explain why these rules exist, such as fairness in size specifications and convenience with deadlines.
- Learning to Express Themselves
Not every child is born with a strong desire to perform or is accustomed to showcasing their talents. Children who participate in competitions can boost their confidence by observing the behavior of other children and responding to the cheers and encouragement from the audience, learning to be more willing to express themselves.
- Learning to Face Winning and Losing
In any competitive situation, whether it’s a competition or a game, there will always be winners and losers, and often there is only one champion. When a child achieves victory, parents can provide appropriate encouragement to maintain their enthusiasm for the activity and the competition. This is also a good opportunity to teach children to express gratitude to the staff, teammates, and friends who supported them during the competition.
Even if they unfortunately lose, parents can accompany their children through feelings of disappointment, helping them understand that even in failure, there are valuable lessons to be learned for next time. They should realize that losing a competition does not mean they gained nothing. More importantly, it’s essential to reflect on the experience of failure and prepare for the next opportunity.
For children
Children grow up to be fed instead? How can parents break it down?
Source: Psychotherapist, Lee Wai Tong
The parents begin feeding the baby milk and gradually introduce paste from the time the baby is born. Then children can start to hold their own utensils and eat on their own, one bite at a time while watching them grow up. But when the children reach the age of 6 to 7, they will suddenly ask their parents to feed them. What is the reason for this? How can this be resolved?
Whenever children grow up, their parents are happy, especially when their children eat. In the past, they had to be fed by their parents, but later they learned to use utensils and eat by themselves, which was originally a very happy thing. However, many parents do not understand that when children can eat on their own, they begin to ask their parents to feed them. This is because the intimacy of parental feeding feels good and may make children want to be fed.
When children are young, it is fun for parents to feed them, but when children grow up, it is a headache for parents if they still want to be fed halfway through a meal. We don’t want to spoil the atmosphere of the meal because of the feeding problem, so we need to learn that when children ask to be fed in the middle of a meal, we can solve the problem in the following ways:
Parents can say to their children, “If you take two more bites of rice, mommy and daddy will start feeding.” The next time the same thing happens, say, “If you eat three more bites, mommy and daddy will start feeding,” gradually shorten the time of parental feeding, and gradually extend the time of children eating on their own. Later on, there is a chance to finally just feed him a bite to maintain the intimacy of the parent-child relationship but also to make the eating atmosphere more interesting.
For Parents
How should parents express their love for their children?
Source: Parenting Specialist, Ken Sir
Some mothers often ask me, “How should I show my love for my children?” Will it be spoiled by expressing too much? I think that Chinese people are more introverted and are often afraid to express their love. Especially when you want to express your concern for him but end up with a different attitude.
I once saw a mother and her little child lost in Shatin and then reunited. How did the mother behave after the reunion? She grabbed him by the hand and hit him while saying, “I just couldn’t see you; do you know how scared I was?” I am very worried about you. What can I do if I can’t see you?
In fact, everyone knows that his mother loves him, but the child cannot feel it. I often share an example of how to express love in my lectures. When I was a child, my father ordered a drink, and since he didn’t have much money at the time, he asked the waiter for an extra cup after ordering a hot drink. He kept pouring the drinks around in front of me, trying to get the drinks cold as soon as possible so that the kids wouldn’t burn their mouths when they drank them and they could drink them faster, but I found that if the kids asked their parents or I asked many of the student’s parents, they would all answer, “This will get cold faster.”
When responding to children, parents should express their deepest feelings, such as “Because I love you, how would I do this thing if I didn’t love you?” Do I do it for the one next to me? In fact, there are many things we can do in life to express love, but there is one thing we must remember if we are to avoid causing spoiled, you must remember the following two points.
The first point is that if a child can do something, he should be allowed to do it; you should not fight to make him do it. The second point is that when a child makes a mistake, we should correct him. In the process of correction, we should be gentle and firm, and serious when we need to be serious. However, remind the child that he or she should be told the solution, not just no or wrong. If so, the child will not improve.